Pass the Gravy and… Get Off My Lawn!

Uncle Strick over at Free Beacon has some views to express to his pansy Marxist nephew on this day of thanks.

This kid, my nephew, will never admit to being a communist, it’s always this “moderate independent” crap. But his Facebook feed is full of Bernie Sandinista, if you know what I mean, and he recently tweeted some gibberish about riding the bus in Czechoslovakia and identifying as a “human being” instead of what he is, an American. He’s been a “student” at some Ivy League circle jerk for the better part of a decade. I think he’s 29, who the hell even cares? If he’s the future, this country’s digging its own grave and I’m glad I won’t be there when it finally kicks the bucket. When I was his age, I was flying Ranger battalions into Grenada in ’83. I spent Thanksgiving there, and believe me, we didn’t have any damn printouts. We had a war, son…

He’s gonna be all like “you’re just giving ISIS what they want.” I’ll come back at him with something like: “You know, you raise an interesting point there, Brayden. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you invite one of your ISIS pals around the house and we’ll see how much he likes it when I slash his guts out with the turkey knife. You think that’s what he wants? They want us to crush them? Tell me something, how did you feel when your Little League team got mercy-ruled by those country boys in the district finals? Is that what you wanted? Were you just phoning it in for the “participant” trophy?

…When’s the last time you got a blister on those hands? Don’t mention the time you tried eating the vegan hotdog at the WNBA game you made me take you to out of “fairness.” You didn’t even watch the game. You just tweeted about sexism on your iPad. You know, that little computer screen made by Apple, which last I checked was a corporation, Mr. Occupy.

I can understand how he feels.  My brother’s oldest, lovely girl that she is, hasn’t seen much of the world outside the upscale Boston suburb she resides in, or a fully-funded semester abroad in Italy.  So she is fairly convinced that all the progressive feminist bullsh*t she was taught in college is gospel truth.  Because as soon as the discussion involves facts, interest wanes.  Thankfully, her other uncle makes me look like a McGovern Democrat.  🙂

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  I hope you are just as groggy and stuffed as I am!


H/T to Fran D!

3 thoughts on “Pass the Gravy and… Get Off My Lawn!”

  1. I find that a discussion of where you’re going to go on Black Friday to get a couple of thousand rounds of ammo (e.g., Dick’s has 9mm at $9.99 for a box of 50!) is a fine topic to offend sanctimonious relatives.

  2. To her credit, the almost-18YO daughter is clearly part of the same reality-based community as am I. Drives the wife nuts. Her employer makes Ben & Jerrys look like Barry Goldwater, so I’ve got to do this on my own.

    Need to borrow Dad’s Gov’t-issue (yes, it has the stamp) 1911A1 and his S&W snubby wheel gun (model unknown) to get her some training. I’ve got a S&W 4006 double-stack and it’s almost too big for my hands so it’s a no-go with her.

  3. It’s a change in viewpoint that happens every generation. The kids will man up when the threat becomes real. History shows that’s when they get medieval on the perp.

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