Saturday night funneh

Roamy here.  This might be too late for those of you attending various Christmas parties, but better late than never.

There are rules for drinking.  Here are a few to get you started, see the linky for the rest.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You’ll be surprised how well it works.

28. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I’m an idiot.”

67. Never ask a bartender “what’s good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious. (editor: and whiskey makes you horny.)

Thank you, and don’t forget to tip the bartender.

2 thoughts on “Saturday night funneh”

  1. Went to COMCIVHOME’s company Xmas party today. Good times. Didn’t get to use any of the tips above – it was the wife’s company party, after all – but I did win the white elephant exchange: walked away with a 1.75 of Bombay Sapphire!

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