The top defense secretary in North Korea was allegedly executed in a hail of anti-aircraft fire, South Korean news outlets say, for falling asleep at a meeting where Kim Jong-un was speaking.
Though there remains some skepticism regarding the event, certainly there seems to be some credence to the possibility that General Hyon Yong-chol was done away with, because we know that the DPRK has the facility for such an ostentatious (and messy) display of brutality.
But there is a marketing opportunity here. The annoying 5-Hour Energy commercials could become quite a bit more compelling. “Feeling tired? Falling asleep in a meeting with the boss? Don’t be blasted into smoking lumps of bone and flesh! Drink 5-Hour Energy! Now in pomegranate, berry, grape, and citrus orange!”
Wouldn’t it be irony that staunch Communist KJU was the entrepreneurial inspiration for a Capitalist marketing campaign? Sure, the FDA has some warnings about 5-Hour Energy Drinks, such as prolonged use causing heart attacks. But it still has to be less harmful than half a dozen 14.5 slugs to the cranium.
Maybe 5-Hour Energy can pick up the NKPA as a sponsor, to go along with NASCAR and Jim Furyk. Or maybe not, as acquiring personal wealth is a leading cause of being shot to pieces in North Korea.