On the spot corrections.

Roamy found a funny Reddit thread, via Task and Purpose, asking military Redditors to share their funniest punishments while in the service.

  • The “tie-down game”, have a guy that’s bad at loosing stuff? His hat gets tied down to his uniform top, his uniform top to his t-shirt…..ect….ect. Bottom line, all his stuff is tied down to his belt, makes moving through the woods a nightmare and any menial task 10x more difficult. If it’s a group that lost something, they get tied together in addition to all this.
  • The “Evolution of Man” , have a guy that is bad at leaving his weapon laying around? Take is gun from him and have him build primitive weapons until he makes a functioning bow and arrow to earn his gun back.
  • Lastly the flavor flav, have a guy that’s late a lot? Give him a giant wall clock and wear it around his neck at all times.

I may or may not have done a few of these, on both sides of the equation.

My personal favorite was from my time in Hawaii, where we Koalafied. Screw up out in the field? While wearing helmet, load bearing equipment, and carrying a rifle, find a nice tree, and grab onto it like a koala. Of course, you usually had to do it upside down (just because it’s a good deal more uncomfortable that way).  Trying to slowly shimmy your way up and down the tree was fun.

Technically, none of these are punishments. “Punishment” is only handed down after either Non-Judicial Punishment or a Court Martial.

Instead, these are examples of “on the spot corrections” or “Extra Military Instruction” or “corrective training.”

Most of the time, if the recipient has half a brain, it’s embraced with a spirit of wry humor. But there’s always that one guy either with a chip on his shoulder, or who is just fundamentally unsuited for the military lifestyle. And screw-ups beget screwups. NCOs have to be careful that they’re reinforcing good behavior, and not drifting into hazing.

What’s the funniest way you’ve been corrected?

5 thoughts on “On the spot corrections.”

  1. Some pretty good ones there. I liked the squad running down the street carrying a telephone pole, while one squad member was doing pushups on the pole. A hardcore NCO thought up that one.

  2. Not corrected as such, but my first time aboard ship they assumed I’d just fallen off the turnip truck. Kept sending me to find 6 fathom coils of waterline or relative bearing grease and the like. Perry class frigates have these rather large forepeak lockers with these tall shelving units for spare gear. Higher than head height. I’d climb up on top and take a nap or hang out and read a book in a coil of line for awhile. Then report back that I looked and looked and looked but couldn’t find the requested item. The only one that caught me at it was the BMC. I thought my arse was cooked as I fessed up to why I just got caught reading a book during work hours. He stared at me from under his unibrow for a bit, told me to carry on and left. For some reason they stopped wasting my time after that. LOL

  3. In the same Pascagoula shipyard we had a new sailor who was a fallen angel. He was told by the FTC to get a fallopian tube at quarters. Yes, Chief, three bags full.

    Off into the shipyard he went, coming back just before knockoff with a silly grin, disheveled hair and a red lipstick kiss on his collar. “I got as close as I could, Chief, but she wouldn’t let me have one.”

    His stock rose that day.

  4. My favorite was a buddy of mine had a knucklehead in his company that kept saying he “was going to hurt somebody.” The 1SG made him wear a reflective vest and brought him in front of the whole company. Then he warned the company that if they saw a bright orange reflective vest coming up behind them, they should just turn around and hit the kid, because he might be coming up behind them in order to hurt them. He decided “1SG, I don’t think I’m going to hurt anybody” pretty quickly.

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