OAKLAND, CA – A local Veterans Affairs office is leading the nation with an innovative approach to veterans issues, by helping military members transition to civilian life by modifying their records without their knowledge, a VA spokesperson said today.
“A lot of our employees were getting bored with staring at their desks for 20 straight years,” said Secretary of Veterans Affairs Erik Shinseki, “so to raise morale I told them to start helping veterans in any way they can. Military life is tough, so we want to make civilian life easier for them.”
VA Claims Processor Roger Carder says he’s eager to help veterans by working on their specific issues.
“Yeah I’m doing this guy a big favor,” said Carder as he rifled through the file of a former Army Specialist. “He got out with an honorable discharge so he deserves a break. I changed his records to indicate he was fully disabled so he wouldn’t have to get any kind of strenuous job. He called up a week later saying he got fired because his boss thought he was cheating the system. I told him I didn’t have the authority to change his records and couldn’t help him.”
“He’s much better off now. He shouldn’t have had to work so hard.”
Sometimes, TDB is just a little too on the nose.
Of course, as part of this program, the Army is doing its part by proactively losing soldier’s medical records, so there is no way to validate disability claims.