It’s the law!

We’ve got the Rules of Combat here, but Jay in Ames brings us some other laws that have a more general application…

  1. Law of Mechanical Repair -After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
  2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Go read the rest.

12 thoughts on “It’s the law!”

  1. Law of Selective Gravity states that any object (or tool) when dropped will land in the place where it will cause the most damage or be the most difficult to retrieve. I’ve seen it happen.

  2. For #2, I have had many a nut or bolt completely vanish after it has been dropped, never to be seen by humankind again.

  3. Cold weather kidney stone rule:

    The urgency with which one must void is inversely proportional to the layers of clothing between Junior and freedom, and also inversely proportional to the temperature of the fingers.

  4. Not relevant, but a line I’ve always liked is, “In this house, we OBEY the Laws of Thermodynamics!”

    1. Sorry, thought you’d be more at home with metric, since you live in Mexico’s northernmost part. Isn’t everything there in metric? 😀

    2. Better stay away from the Auto Zone in Coachella, then. I’ve had counter people refuse to help me rather than speak English there.

      Actually, better to just stay away from Coachella, period.

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